


Healing the Wounds

by lightsinthefloors



Series: Not a Love Song [2]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: 2x15, Angst, Dad Hotch, Detox, Drug Use, Drugs, Emily is a lesbian, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Nausea, Post Revelations, Revelations, Seizures, Spemily - Freeform, Spencer is bi, Spoilers, emily and Spencer are the dynamic duo, friendships, platonic friendship, reidniss, tw drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:15:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27473371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightsinthefloors/pseuds/lightsinthefloors
Summary: “Speaking of Emily,” Hotch starts, prompting Spencer to pause, “was it a good decision to let her help you instead of myself?”Spencer nods without hesitation. “I think it turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened.”
Series: Not a Love Song [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1971067
Comments: 12
Kudos: 62





	Healing the Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> This took me longer than any of my other fics, so enjoy! I apologize for any inaccuracies, I tried to do as much research as possible

It’s a Friday night, and all Spencer wants to do is sleep. This week has been hard, almost unbearable. It’s difficult enough to hide his addiction from the team, and hurtful that they really already know the truth and no one has said anything. Spencer knows he’s being rude when he snaps at his friends for no reason or is especially stubborn towards Hotch, but he truly can’t help it when coming down from a high. He knows he just has to make it until he gets home, although even that is too much sometimes. Shooting up in the bathroom at work makes him feel more ashamed than anything, knowing he’s putting his own and Hotch’s job on the line. He just can’t bring himself to stop. 

He lets himself in when he gets home, promptly falling on the couch for a moment. He wouldn’t need another hit for at least a little- he last had one after lunch. Spencer closes his eyes, feeling completely miserable. The last thing he wants to hear is a knock at his door, but that’s what comes after just a moment of silence. He reluctantly stands, trudging over to the door. Spencer is suddenly snapped back to life when he comes face to face with his coworker, his newest one nonetheless. 

“Emily? Why are- why are you here?” Spencer frowns, too drained to acknowledge that it’s not a polite greeting. “Did you follow me home?”

Emily rocks on her feet for a moment, already looking guilty. “Yes... yes, I did follow you home. I’m sorry I’m invading your privacy. But we need to talk about- whatever is going on here.”

Spencer narrows his eyes, wrapping his arms around himself protectively. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. Why would you come here just to tell me everything you think is wrong with me?” 

Emily isn’t sure whether to ease up or come on harder, his defensiveness fully on display. She decides the latter, knowing there isn’t an easy way in this situation. “Spencer, you have a drug problem,” she says firmly. “We both know it can’t go on like this. Hotch knows too, he let me read your report. He said he was going to come and talk to you and I said I would. I didn’t want to put you in that position, having to do this with a superior...” Emily trails off at the end, waiting for a reaction. 

Spencer is quiet for a long time. He feels like he could faint, being called out like that. He knows he hadn’t been very secretive, but he thought everyone would just continue to ignore the problem. “Who else knows?” Spencer asks lowly.

“Just Hotch and I. The others might suspect, but nothing’s been confirmed,” Emily promises. “You need help, Reid. Let me be there for you. I’m not going to let you do this on your own. If you’d rather Hotch than me, I can call him right now.”

Spencer thinks about it, not willing to admit that he agrees with Emily’s previous statement. He really doesn’t want to go through this with Hotch, far too ashamed. He wavers in the doorway for another moment before stepping aside and opening it further, a silent allowance of entry. Emily offers a small smile, not too hurt when it’s not returned. She walks inside, taking in Spencer’s apartment. It’s not tiny, but not huge either. Books are piled up all over the place, and it’s both tidy yet messy at the same time. It’s exactly how she pictured the young doctors home to be like. It’s very Spencer Reid. 

Emily takes off her jacket, carefully draping it on the back of a chair. “So... when was the last time you took anything?”

“After lunch,” Spencer admits, knowing there’s no point in lying anymore. “I want to stop. I’ve wanted fo since it all started. But I’m too weak.”

“No you aren’t, Spencer,” Emily promises. “We need to get rid of what you have left. The symptoms will probably start to hit in the middle of the night, but I don’t plan on leaving your side. Okay?”

Spencer nods meekly, leading her into the bathroom. He pulls the bottles from the back of his medicine cabinet, and his needles from the bottom of a drawer. He puts them all on the sink, quickly leaving and returning with his bag. He pulls one more bottle from there, sighing weakly. 

“You need to do this,” Emily whispers. “Let yourself overcome this.”

Spencer wastes no time, afraid that if he hesitates, he won’t bring himself to do it. He takes the tops off the small bottles, dumping them in the sink. He shoves the needles deep in the garbage, tying up the bag and shoving it away. It’s quiet for awhile after that, a small sniffle audible as Emily watches the younger man’s lip tremble. She feels her heart break, and it doesn’t help that Spencer looks so, so young right now. 

“Oh, Spencer,” Emily whispers, hesitantly wrapping her arms around him. She hugs tighter when he leans into it, starting to sob. 

“There’s no going back now,” Spencer hiccups, trying to catch his breath. “I’m so scared, Emily. I don’t think I can do this.”

“It’s not gonna be easy,” Emily agrees, rubbing his back. “But I’ll be with you the whole time. You won’t have to do this alone.”

“I don’t think I can,” he whimpers. “I’ve relied on it too much. It should’ve never started in the first place. Why did I let myself do this?”

“Listen to me. You didn’t do this to yourself. Tobias Hankel did, and you had to suffer the consequences. You didn’t choose for this to happen,” Emily promises. “Come on, we can do this. Let me get you dinner and then you can sleep. You should relax as much as possible before the worst of this comes.”

She doesn’t mention how much weight he’s lost recently, stick thin in her arms. Spencer has always been skinny, but this can’t possibly be healthy. Emily doesn’t want to ask about his eating habits, knowing she won’t like the answer. Instead, she just vows to herself to help him get back on his feet. Spencer follows her to his couch, feeling horrible. He’s scared, and ashamed, and upset with himself for letting it get this far. Emily pulls a blanket from the back of the couch, draping it over him. 

“Does anything even sound remotely appetizing to you?” Emily asks, sighing when he just shakes his head. “I’ll figure it out. Do you need groceries?”

Spencer nods, and she decides that takeout will have to do. She’ll get Hotch to bring them stuff tomorrow, but leaving Spencer isn’t even a possibility at the moment. Emily orders something she knows Spencer likes, hoping he’ll actually eat, sitting down with him when she hangs up the phone. 

“We should talk about this,” Emily says gently. “The symptoms of a detox won’t be easy. Do you know what you’re in for?” 

Spencer shrugs, even though the answer is yes. “I’ve done research. I’ll be in pain, have a fever and drug cravings. I don’t want it to happen,” he mumbles, both vaguely and bluntly. 

“But you know it needs to happen. I’ll be right here, no matter what. You’re going to get so irritable and want nothing to do with me, and that’s alright. Take it all out on me. It’ll be worth it once you’re better,” Emily nods, rubbing his arm gently. “I’ll be with you until the end. Hotch said if we need longer than the weekend, we can have it.”

Spencer just nods softly, already feeling antsy. He knows there’s no way withdrawal symptoms have kicked in yet, but that doesn’t mean the anxieties aren’t there. He and Emily aren’t that close yet- she only joined the team a little while ago. But Spencer always liked her, he admired her strength and independence. Still, it feels odd to him to have her here for such a personal moment. He doesn’t want her to see him like this, even if he does trust her. 

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Spencer mumbles softly. “I don’t- I don’t want you to see me like this. We’re coworkers.”

“I’m not here as Agent Prentiss. I’m just Emily. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve considered you a friend since I met you. It would be wonderful if you could just trust me a little bit, and then I can help you,” Emily says gently. 

“You think I’m your friend?” Spencer whispers. “I don’t annoy you?”

“Not at all,” Emily chuckles softly. “You amaze me with your intelligence, and you’re as sweet as you are smart. I hate seeing you like this. I want you to get better.”

“So do I,” Spencer sighs. “It’s just scary and hard.”

“I know,” Emily nods. “But we can do this.”

Spencer lets himself get a little closer to Emily, the two of them not so far apart anymore. She smiles, giving his hand a squeeze. There’s a knock on the door shortly, their dinner arriving. Spencer starts to stand, but Emily gently pushes him back down, getting up herself. Spencer smiles a tiny bit when he sees that she got Indian food, touched that she remembered that it’s his favorite. 

“Alright, eat what you can, you probably won’t have much of an appetite after tonight,” Emily tells him, smiling sympathetically. 

Spencer nods warily, taking what’s his. He scoots a little closer when Emily sits back down, unusually yearning for some affection. She smiles when he comes closer, squeezing his shoulder lightly. The two of them fall into a comfortable silence as they eat, the television absently playing in the background. Spencer tries to eat as much as he can, knowing Emily was right before. He feels exhausted as soon as he finishes, absentmindedly slumping against Emily’s shoulder. He blushes when he realizes it, moving to sit back up. Emily just wraps an arm around him, easing Spencer back down. 

“Do you want to stay here or go to your bed?” Emily croons, brushing a careful hand through his hair. “And I’ll stay wherever you want me. I have my go bag and I’ll gladly take the couch.”

“I think I want to go to bed... and you can- there’s space in my- if you want to stay with me,” Spencer mumbles, his cheeks bright red. “Or I can take the couch. The bed is more comfortable...”

Emily smiles sweetly, helping him up. “Look, I’m gonna be here through all of this, and I’ll probably see you puke at least once. This only has to be as awkward as we make it. Would you like me to stay with you?”

“If you don’t mind,” Spencer murmurs, his lips curling into a shy smile. 

Emily nods, taking his hand. Any awkwardness is shortly diffused as Spencer shows her his room, readily explaining what some of his knickknacks and such mean to him. He shows her where to put her things, feeling a little better than before. It’s not long before the covers are pulled back, the two of them snug as bugs. 

“Try to get some sleep, and wake me up if you need anything,” Emily hums. “And this is a fair warning, I am a cuddler.”

Spencer smiles, just pulling the covers up to his shoulders. He is too.   
-  
Emily wakes up sometime in the middle of the night, something feeling off. She rubs her bleary eyes and notices that something important is missing: Spencer. She gives it a minute, not wanting to invade his privacy if he’s simply using the bathroom. A minute passes though, and Spencer doesn’t return, so Emily gets out of bed and slips out the door. The sight she sees makes her chest ache, wishing she could just take the pain away. Spencer is standing in the hall, wavering in front of the bathroom door. His arms are wrapped firmly around his stomach, and his legs are visibly shaking.

“Spencer? What’s the matter, sweetheart?” Emily asks quietly, a fierce wave of protectiveness coming over her. 

Spencer’s head snaps up, but he settles when he sees who it is. “I- um- I’m sorry if I woke you up. I think, I think I might be sick, but I don’t know,” he explains choppily, taking in a shallow breath. “I don’t want to go in there because I’m afraid if I do, I’ll definitely throw up. I figured if I wait out here it might go away.” 

“Okay,” Emily whispers, coming over to him. “How long have you been here? Do you think you can try and sleep some more?”

“Maybe... ten minutes or so?” Spencer’s voice wavers, and it sounds more like a question than a statement. “I want to go back to bed because I’m really cold... but I still don’t feel well.”

“I’m sorry,” Emily coos, rubbing his back. “It might feel better to just get it over with.”

Spencer lets her lead him towards the bathroom, whining softly when the lights are turned on. It turns out he was right- just the sight of the toilet and the thought of throwing up sends him over the edge, and he falls to his knees as his stomach lurches. Emily rubs his shoulders as he brings his dinner back up, groaning weakly. 

“There you go, let it out,” Emily encourages, moving his hair back. 

After what feels like forever, Spencer leans against the wall, curling in on himself again. Emily helps him back up, not minding one bit that most of his weight is on her. She feels his forehead once he’s in bed, noticing his shivers despite the sweating. 

“You’re warm,” Emily murmurs, helping him out of his shirt. “Do you feel any better now?”

Spencer shakes his head, panting softly as he lays back against the pillows. “Not really... it hurts so bad, but I’m not gonna throw up anymore,” he explains, shivering as a chill goes down his spine. “I’m freezing cold but hot... I hate this.”

“I’m sorry, honey, but you can get through this. Do you need me to get you anything?” She asks, stroking the back of his neck as he turns to lay on his front, a pillow underneath him and clutched to his chest. “You should probably rehydrate.”

“I don’t need anything...” Spencer mumbles, overcome with a wave of tiredness. “Can I go back to sleep?”

“After you drink water,” Emily promises, getting his water bottle and holding it to his lips. 

After getting a few sips down, she lets Spencer go, the young agent falling asleep shortly. His face is twisted in a grimace, but at the moment, the fatigue is heavier than the pain. Emily sits awake for a little while longer, detangling some of the knots in his hair while she thinks. She just wants to take the pain away. Seeing Spencer like this breaks her heart. Emily has full intentions of being there for Spencer until and even after he gets better. She just hopes it’s enough.  
-  
Emily doesn’t remember falling asleep, but the next time she’s awake, the room is filled with sunlight. She’s relieved that Spencer is still fast asleep, and she gets up to close the curtains and make the room dark again. After making herself look somewhat presentable, Emily sits on the couch and ponders what to do. She looks at the time, deciding that he would be up. Emily holds the phone to her ear, waiting for someone to pick up. 

“Prentiss?”

“Hi, Hotch. Did I wake you?” Emily frowns. 

“No, no. I’ve been up. How is he?” Hotch asks, not wasting any time with small talk. 

“It’s what we expected,” Emily sighs. “He ate dinner and went to sleep, but woke up in the middle of the night puking everything back up. He’s still asleep now, I want to let him rest. He had a bit of a fever, I’ll check his temperature when he’s up. I actually needed to ask you a favor. Spencer has like- absolutely nothing here. Would you mind getting some groceries for him? I’ll pay you back.”

“Nonsense, don’t worry about the money,” Hotch promises. “I can go now and be over as soon as possible.”

“Thank you, Hotch. He’ll be happy to see you when you come by,” Emily says, thankful. 

“Of course. Let him sleep like you said and then we can try and get him to eat some more,” Hotch agrees. “I’ll see you soon.”

Emily hangs up the phone, glad that he’s coming. She doesn’t know how Spencer can live with hardly any sustenance in his home, and she also doesn’t want to leave him to get things herself. Not knowing what to do with herself as she waits, Emily begins to tidy up, folding the blankets back up and doing the dishes in the sink. She even wipes the counters and table, ready to pull out a broom after that. Sidetracked by one of the only photos in the apartment, Emily smiles as she looks over a photo of Spencer and his mother. He looks only a few years younger than he is now, and exceptionally happy. His mother is smiling too, a look of adoration on her face. Their smiles in the photo are infectious, and Emily can’t keep the fond grin off her face while looking at it. She sets it back down when there’s a light knock on the door, surprised by how much time has already passed. Emily opens the door, smiling at their unit chief. 

“Hey, Hotch. Thank you for coming,” Emily nods. “Let me help you with that.”

“Absolutely. I just got the basics, it should last you guys at least through the weekend. After this I need to keep an eye on him, he’s losing too much weight,” Hotch sighs, letting Emily take a few bags. 

“Yeah... why don’t you go see him?” Emily offers. “I’ll put these away. He’ll be happy to see you.”

Hotch nods quietly, and Emily points him in the direction of his room. Hotch carefully opens the door, taking in the sight of their genius in bed. He looks pale and thin, though his cheeks are flushed a rosy red with fever. Hotch carefully sits on the edge of the bed, stroking Spencer’s hair. The younger man stirs under the touch, eyes opening a little. His brow furrows, confused to see his unit chief, let alone him in jeans and a t-shirt. 

“Hotch?” Spencer asks, his voice cracking with how dry it is. 

“It’s me,” Hotch smiles gently, his voice calm as if he were talking to a sick Jack. “How are you feeling?”

“Not good,” Spencer whispers, sighing shakily. “It all hurts.”

“I know, buddy. Emily and I are going to get you breakfast. Do you feel up to eating?”

Spencer shrugs, still half asleep and not really able to register how he feels. 

“That’s alright. Why don’t you go back to sleep for a little longer? I’ll wake you up when it’s time to eat,” Hotch offers. 

Spencer just nods, burrowing back under the covers. Hotch rubs his arm briefly, moving to get back up. He leaves the room, giving Emily a nod. 

“How is he?” She asks, putting the last of the groceries away. 

“He’s too tired to realize how much he’s hurting, which I guess isn’t a bad thing,” Hotch sighs, frowning thoughtfully. “But I told him to go back to sleep until breakfast is done. He’ll probably be miserable.”

“We’ll be there for him... if you need to get back home, don’t worry, we’ll be okay. I’m assuming Haley doesn’t know why you’re here?” Emily asks. 

“She doesn’t,” Hotch confirms. “I just told her I needed to help a friend. She understands.”

Emily smiles softly, gesturing towards the kitchen. “I’m not really sure what to make. I don’t even know what he eats for breakfast.”

“We need to find something that will fill him up but be light enough on his stomach,” Hotch nods. “Toast and bananas are good for a stomach bug, so it should be okay now.”

“Got it,” Emily hums, walking to the counter. 

In no time, the two of them have Spencer’s and their own food ready, along with coffee for them and tea for the youngest of the three. Emily offers to wake Spencer this time, going in his room and rubbing his back. Unfortunately, though not unexpected, Spencer is much less pleasant this time. 

“Leave me alone,” he nearly growls, shying away from Emily’s touch. 

“It’s time to wake up and eat,” Emily tells him. “Come on. Put a shirt on.”

“You’re not my mother,” Spencer huffs, taking the shirt from her and pulling it over his head. “I’m not eating anything.”

“You need to. Hotch is waiting for us,” Emily hums, holding her hand out. 

Spencer just rolls his eyes, walking past her. Fully awake, he’s now aware of his crampy muscles and chilliness, not to mention the cravings hitting him right in the face. He’s too irritated to even care that Hotch is here, slumping down in his chair. 

“I want coffee,” Spencer grumbles, starting at the tea bag hanging out of his mug and simultaneously bouncing his leg anxiously. “You guys get to have coffee.”

“Tea will make you feel better,” Hotch reasons. “Emily said you were throwing up last night, it will settle your stomach.”

“You can’t keep anything between us, can you?” Spencer snaps at Emily. “Lovely to know that my boss is fully aware of me throwing up everything in my body.”

“No one is judging you,” Emily sighs. “We want to help you feel better.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to get better, I want drugs,” Spencer snarls, the cravings too strong to ignore. “You made me throw it all away and it was the only thing keeping me going.”

“Spencer, stop it. You know deep down that this is the only way. You were not healthy before, you’re getting healthy now,” Hotch says sternly. “Now eat your food.”

Spencer looks down at his plate, nose wrinkling with distaste. “Plain toast is disgusting. Can I at least put something on it or am I not allowed?” He asks sarcastically. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hotch says calmly. “Bland is better at the moment, anything extra will just upset your stomach.”

If looks could kill, Hotch and Emily would both be dead, Spencer sending them both the nastiest stare. He starts to eat though, reluctantly making his way through the plate. Spencer leaves most of it in the end, not having much of an appetite at all. Emily and Hotch don’t want to push him, knowing he doesn’t feel well. Spencer lays flat on his belly on the couch, hoping the position will help get rid of the stiffness in his joints. Emily bites her lip as she watches, wishing there was more that could be done. It’s not long before Spencer moves again, getting up stiffly and disappearing into the bathroom. Hotch and Emily share a frown, the latter of the two getting up and following. 

“Spencer, are you alright? I don’t want you to be alone if you’re throwing up,” Emily says to the locked door, her arms crossed. 

“I’m not puking,” Spencer groans. “Leave me alone, please. Go anywhere but here.”

Emily sighs, guilty that she embarrassed him. She goes back to Hotch, sitting on the couch next to him. “I guess I kind of jumped the gun, huh?” She mumbles. “I wish there was more I could do.”

“It’s not your fault, Emily. We both thought eating something would benefit him, but it’s just not the right time. We just need to keep him hydrated and let him rest. I know he’s being difficult, but he’s in a lot of pain,” Hotch reminds gently. 

“I know. I’ll keep being patient with him. I just want him to be okay,” Emily murmurs. 

Hotch nods, the two of them just sitting together. It’s another few minutes before Spencer emerges, looking shaky, pale, and overall embarrassed. He sits as far away from them on the couch as possible, folding his arms over his middle. 

“I should get going,” Hotch says after a little while. “Call me if either of you need anything. Spencer, I really hope you feel better soon. We’re here for you.”

“Thank you. Bye,” Spencer says tightly, sighing heavily. 

He stays stiff in his seat until Hotch leaves, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Spencer hates having his coworkers seeing him so vulnerable. It makes him feel more weak than anything. Emily turns to him, but he can’t meet her eyes, just feeling his cheeks flush under her stare. 

“You need to drink some water. Do you think you could try and relax or not now?” Emily asks. 

Spencer shakes his head, rubbing a hand over his face. “It hurts when I move, it hurts when I’m still. Everything is just painful,” Spencer mumbles. “I hate this.”

“I’m sorry,” Emily whispers, moving closer. “I wish I could take it all away. What hurts the worst right now?”

“Stomach,” Spencer answers after a minute. “I feel nauseous again.”

“Alright... well, you still need to drink at least a little bit of water,” Emily stated, squeezing his shoulder. “I’m sorry you feel so icky. This is the worst of it. After today and tomorrow you should feel much better.”

Spencer just exhales heavily, curling up against the corner of the couch. Emily watches him for a minute, finally getting up and going into the kitchen. She fills up a glass of water, getting a straw so he won’t have to sit up more than he needs too. After doing so, she shuffles back to the couch, sighing sadly at the sight of Spencer on the couch. 

“Here, handsome. Drink a little for me then you can lay right back down,” Emily coaxes, holding the cup close to him. 

Spencer groans quietly as he sits up a bit, taking a few sips so small, Emily isn’t sure if he even got any. He shakes his head after about half of the water is down, unable to take in anything else. He leans heavily against the couch, clutching his middle like his life depended on it. Emily sits down next to him, lightly pulling his arm. 

“Lay your head in my lap,” Emily whispers softly. “I’ll pet your hair. You can’t even pretend you don’t like when I do that.”

Spencer doesn’t argue, just carefully shifting over. He goes slow, not wanting to jostle the water he drank too much, and gently curls up in Emily’s lap. She combs her hand through his hair, which started to curl from not being properly styled in the last day or so. Spencer relaxes a little with the gentle touch, slumping a little more against her. Emily hums quietly, hoping he can relax a bit. It’s calm for a little, but unfortunately, not for too long. 

“Emily,” Spencer whimpers, his voice leaking with urgency. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Okay, okay. Come on, we can make it,” Emily nods, swiftly standing up. 

She wraps an arm around Spencer’s waist, half carrying him to the bathroom. The two get there just in time for Spencer to empty his stomach, bringing up the rest of breakfast and the little bit of water he was able to get down. It wasn’t much that came up, but Spencer still spent time dry heaving, almost hoping something would come up because it wouldn’t be so painful. He sniffles miserably as his stomach continues to cramp and churn, although it’s completely empty and has nothing left to give. Spencer partially notices Emily stroking his sides as she basically holds him up, but feels too sick to acknowledge it. 

“It hurts,” Spencer slurs, rubbing his eyes. “I think I might faint.”

“No, no, don’t pass out on me. You’re doing so good,” Emily coos, kissing the back of his head. “You’re doing great. You’ve got nothing left to come up, you’ll be more comfortable in bed.”

“I can’t,” Spencer groans. “It’s too hard. My legs hurt. I want to die, Emily. I can’t do it.”

Emily doesn’t know what to say, just cradling Spencer close. She hates that he feels this way. She wishes she could take it all instead, not wanting the poor agent to have to put up with anymore of this. Emily holds onto Spencer tight, just whispering small nothings to him. 

“You can get through this. You’re so strong and smart and amazing,” she soothes, combing his sweaty hair away from his eyes. “You have your whole life ahead of you. This doesn’t define who you are as a person.”

“It’s all my fault. I should’ve stopped sooner,” Spencer sobs, both from pain and emotion. 

“You didn’t choose this, you had no control over anything. It’s not your fault. None of it is, and we’re gonna get you past this,” Emily whispers, taking his hand and squeezing it. “Let’s get you in bed, I’ll get a bucket just in case.”

Spencer finally agrees, letting Emily help him stand. He wishes he wasn’t so needy, but his muscles feel far too weak and achy for him to stand on his own. The two of them slowly make their way back to bed, and Emily tucks him in tight. He fights to find a comfortable position, unable to sleep for more than a little while at a time. 

The next few hours go by, and not much changes. Spencer only sleeps for a half hour at a time at most, and he’s unable to keep anything down. Emily stays with him the whole time, holding his hair when he throws up and soothing him back to sleep when he’s done. He doesn’t have any energy left to be snappy, in too much pain. He just accepts any comfort Emily offers, her gentle touches being one of the only things that can settle him back to sleep at the moment. It’s nearing seven by the time Spencer falls asleep again, and Emily doesn’t care that it’s late in the evening. She just wants him to rest. A shrill ring from her phone startles Emily out of her thoughts, and she dives for the small device so it doesn’t wake up the man in bed. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, Emily. I just wanted to see how Spencer’s doing,” Hotch answers. 

“He’s not doing the best,” Emily confesses. “I’m trying to keep him hydrated. I got him to eat a few saltine crackers, but anything he eats or drinks either comes right back up or goes through him too fast. He’s been sleeping on and off for the past few hours, which I guess is the best I can hope for. He wakes up to be sick and then goes back to sleep.”

Hotch hums lowly, trying to think. “Did you try giving him some of the Gatorade? The electrolytes are good for him.”

“I tried, but he just threw it back up. I think everything is feeling too unsettled for anything at all, if I’m being honest,” Emily sighs. 

“You’re trying the best you can,” Hotch reminds, knowing she’s being hard on herself. “Hopefully tomorrow will be better. This is probably the peak of it all.”

“He told me he wanted to die,” Emily whispers, getting goosebumps just thinking about it. 

Hotch is silent for a moment, biting his lip. “He doesn’t mean it. He just doesn’t want to put up with this anymore. Spencer is tired, tired of all of this. He’ll feel so much better, physically and emotionally, once this detox is over.”

“I hope so,” Emily whispers. “I hate seeing him like this. I want him to be okay.”

“He will be,” Hotch promises. “Try and get some rest yourself, alright? Make sure to eat, and then relax with him. You’re doing good, Emily.”

“Thank you,” Hotch smiles gently. “Call me if you need anything.”

Emily nods, although he can’t see her. “I will. Bye Hotch.”

She puts her phone down and lays across the couch, groaning quietly. She’s so frustrated with herself. Logically, she knows that this is how it goes; it gets worse before it gets better. Emotionally is a different story. Emily just wants everyone to be happy, but she knows it’s not that easy. She lays there for a minute, just gathering her thoughts. After a little while, she rises, heading for the kitchen. It’s not until her stomach practically roars that she realizes she’s sort of been neglecting eating herself, too focused on Spencer. Assembling a bowl of cereal, nothing fancy, she sits at the table, eating in the silent room. A creak in the wood floor breaks the silence a few moments later, and Spencer is rubbing his eyes in the doorway. Emily’s head turns to the noise, and she smiles at the boyish look on his sleepy face. 

“Hi, sweetheart. Let me just put this in the sink, hold on,” Emily tells him, getting up to put her dishes away. She walks to him when she’s done, stroking his cheek with the back of her hand. “You feel a little cooler than earlier. How are you feeling?”

Spencer shrugs, his eyes closing a bit as he leans into her hand. “I’m still tired even though all I’ve been doing is sleeping,” he whines quietly. 

“Do you think you can keep anything down? It might help to get something in you,” Emily hums, lightly poking his middle. 

“Maybe,” Spencer sighs. “Can I sit? My legs feel shaky.”

“Of course,” Emily nods, helping him to the couch.

Spencer sits down, stretching his legs out in front of him. “I can’t tell if it’s a good idea or a bad idea to eat anything. Being empty might be adding to the nausea, but I don’t know if it’s too soon to try again.”

“Hotch bought soup from the store. I can make you that. It’s light but you’ll probably feel a lot better,” Emily persuades. 

“I’ll try,” Spencer murmurs, closing his eyes. 

“That’s all I ask,” Emily smiles gently. “It’ll be done in no time.”

Spencer smiles back a tiny bit, curling up with a pillow. Emily pulls a pot from the cabinet, glad that there’s one in the first place, and she quickly finds that it’s the only one he owns. She chuckles softly to herself, finding it sort of endearing how Spencer only has the bare minimum essentials. It really reminds her how young he actually is, and how he was sort of forced to grow up much too fast. That fact makes her both sad and proud of him, and she wonders if it’s odd to have such a strong connection to someone she’s only known for a little while. Her train of thought makes the time go by fast, and the next thing she knows, she’s pouring the soup into a bowl for Spencer. 

“Alright, dinner is served,” she sing-songs, putting the bowl on the table. “It’s not a five star meal, but it’ll do.”

“Thank you... for everything,” Spencer says quietly, looking up at her. “This sucks for me but I know it’s not easy for you either.” 

“Anything for a friend,” Emily whispers back, sitting next to him. “Eat what you can. If this goes well, and you feel like you can, you’ll probably feel loads better after a shower. Then you can get ready for bed.” 

“Yeah, I want to shower. I feel gross,” Spencer sighs. “I’ll try the best I can.”

“You already are,” Emily promises, sending him a reassuring smile. 

Spencer offers a weak one in return, taking the soup into his hands. He starts off shaky, almost spilling broth on himself a few times. He becomes more confident after the first few bites, allowing himself to eat at a normal pace when his stomach doesn’t reject it immediately. 

“Don’t push yourself,” Emily reminds, seeing him trying to decide whether or not to have more. “You don’t have to finish. You already did really good. Do you want to stop?”

“I think so... I think more wouldn’t be a good idea,” Spencer murmurs, putting the bowl down and pressing his hand to his stomach. “I just hope it stays down.”

“It will,” Emily nods, laying her head on his shoulder. 

They wait five minutes, which turns into ten, and then they decide that dinner was a good idea after all. Spencer still wants to shower, and after standing steadily in place for a minute to prove to Emily that he can, she lets him go. After tidying the living room up some and doing the dishes, Emily goes into Spencer’s room to get it ready. She pulls out the most comfortable looking clothes she can find and pulls the covers back, knowing Spencer is still weary. She changes into sweats and a t-shirt of her own, sitting on the edge of the bed as she waits. Spencer is in the shower for awhile, and Emily can’t help but get a little nervous. She wanders over to the bathroom door, knocking lightly. 

“You okay, Spencer?” She asks, taking care not to sound accusing. 

“Yeah- yeah, I’m fine. I’m coming out now,” Spencer nods, shutting the water off. 

“Okay... I left clothes on your bed, I’ll wait in the living room,” Emily calls. 

She sits back on the couch, giving him him some privacy. Emily won’t admit it out loud, but she’s rather tired herself. Last night wasn’t easy, the two of them up for a good portion of it. And today, Emily was too busy keeping an eye on Spencer to stop for a moment. She closes her eyes for a moment, just sort of basking in the silence. 

“Emily? You can come back now, if you want. I’m sorry, I know you’re tired,” Spencer says softly, looking exceptionally adorable in his too big sweatshirt. “Sorry I took so long, the hot water felt good on my muscles.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Emily grins. “And don’t apologize. I’m glad it helped. Come on, you look sleepy.”

“I am,” Spencer blushes softly. “Emily... I’m sorry I was so mean to you last week. You just wanted to help, and I was a jerk. I really wanted to become close with you and I feel like I messed things up.” 

“Now I understand why. You weren’t being mean on purpose, you were going through a lot. And we still can get close,” Emily promises. “I think after this, we’ll already be closer than most.”

“Yeah,” Spencer chuckles wryly. “But really, you’re a great friend for this. Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” Emily nods, leading him into his room. She sits on the bed, waiting for him to ask. 

“How do you get people to like you? Like... romantically,” Spencer asks shyly. 

Emily can’t help but grin, giggling softly. “Well, I have had a few girlfriends in my days. Guys aren’t exactly my area of expertise. Which are you looking for?”

“Either,” Spencer confesses. “And... you’re the only one on the team that knows that. But I don’t know, I feel like I’m too socially awkward.”

“Be yourself, Spencer. When you find the right person, you’ll know. They’ll be lucky to have someone like you,” Emily promises. 

“You really think so?” Spencer asks quietly, moving to lay down and pulling the covers up to his chin. 

“I do,” Emily promises, petting his hair for a moment. “Get some sleep. I’ll be here the whole time.”

“Thank you, Emily,” Spencer murmurs, leaning into her a little as he starts to drift off. 

Emily smiles, holding him as he starts to fall asleep. It doesn’t take long for her to get some sleep herself, the two of them sort of gravitating towards each other. It’s much more peaceful than the last night.   
-  
Spencer wakes up too early the next morning, the sun still not up yet. He burrows further under the covers, shivering a little with the morning chilliness that he always seems to have. It’s early and he’s tired, and vaguely aware of the nausea and body aches that remain, but he feels too drowsy to do much about it. Spencer snuggles back down against the pillows, wishing he could warm up some. He doesn’t want to bother Emily for something as small as this, but as he wakes up more, everything he’s feeling becomes amplified. This is more than what he felt like yesterday though, and with a headache that feels like it came out of absolutely nowhere, he feels like he could pass out. 

“Emily,” Spencer mumbles, trying to stay calm as his vision swims a little. “Please? I need help.”

Emily shifts a little at the quiet speaking, confused that it’s still dark outside when she opens her eyes. “Spencer, are you calling me?” She yawns, slowly turning over to face him. 

“Mhm,” Spencer nods feverishly, his breaths becoming heavier and more frequent. “I don’t- I don’t know...”

That snaps Emily awake more, and she sits up. “What’s wrong? Talk to me,” she whispers gently, reaching for him. 

She pulls her hand back when his body suddenly jerks, wincing as his head hits against the headboard. Emily doesn’t know what to do when she sees Spencer’s right hip and arm sort of jerking while his other one is completely still, and it doesn’t take long to realize what’s going on. The rest of his body is tense and tight, and he mumbles a string of unintelligible words. Emily’s dealt with seizures before, and as long as it doesn’t last too long, she thinks he’ll be okay, although this is the most unsure she’s ever felt this whole time. She just holds Spencer’s still hand gently, silently counting in her head. It’s just a few seconds over two minutes when Spencer stills, the cloudy look in his eyes starting to clear, and he curls in on himself with a small groan as his body finally relaxes. 

“Hey,” Emily whispers, stroking his hair. “Coming back to me? You just had a small seizure, nothing to worry about. It’s common during- during this time.”

“I don’t feel good,” Spencer whimpers weakly, scooting further down and resting his head on Emily’s leg. “My head hurts... and I feel really nauseous.”

“That’s all normal after a seizure, I’m sorry,” Emily coos, carefully rubbing the back of his neck. “Just take some breaths, okay?”

Spencer shakes his head, groaning softly when it makes his head pound harder. “Can’t... I think I’m going to throw up.”

Luckily, they’re prepared from the night before, and Emily grabs the bucket that’s been loyally waiting on the side of his bed. She holds it in his lap, holding his hair as he starts to throw up. Her heart breaks when she hears him sniffle between heaves, tired of being sick so often. 

“I hate this,” Spencer whispers, trying to catch his breath when he’s finally done. “My throat burns and my stomach hurts.”

“I’m sure,” Emily sighs softly, helping him lean back against the pillows. “I’m gonna get you tea, it’ll feel good on your throat and settle your stomach. How’s your head feeling?”

“Still hurts,” Spencer mumbles, closing his eyes. 

Emily bites her lip, feeling his forehead before she gets up. He’s luckily not too warm, and that calms her nerves a little. She leaves the room, making more tea for Spencer. Hoping it’s a good decision, she brings it back to him, frowning softly at the young man. He looks miserable, curled up under the covers. 

“Try drinking this,” Emily offers, holding it out to him once he sits up. 

He warily takes the mug, taking a sip. The hot drink fogs up the glasses he put on, making Emily chuckle. Spencer leans back against the pillows, sipping the tea and letting the warmth soothe his throat. He has to admit, he likes the way it makes him feel warm inside and out, comforting him a lot. 

“Good?” Emily asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Spencer nods, closing his eyes. “I’m just tired... and my head hurts a lot,” he reports, watching Emily. 

He hasn’t known her for too long- not as long as JJ or Morgan. But she did this for him, and he doesn’t know how he can ever thank her. Spencer knows in this moment that he wants Emily in his life forever, as his best friend. He’s never had a best friend before. He and JJ are close, but he’s a little intimidated, especially after their “date.” Morgan tries to give him advice and has always been nice, but Spencer doesn’t let him get too close. Not with the giant crush he has. Garcia is close, always making Spencer feel included and leaving him cookies all the time. But Emily is everything that Spencer thinks a best friend should be. She stepped up and volunteered to take care of Spencer, knowing it wouldn’t be easy. He’ll always appreciate that. 

“Emily...” Spencer starts, before she can start talking again. “Have you ever had a best friend?”

She’s sort of taken aback by the random question, but answers nonetheless. “Not really one person. I have friends all over the place, but I tend not to get to close to people. How come?”

“I’ve never really had one... and I think you’re a really good friend,” Spencer mumbles, cheeks red. “We haven’t known each other very long, but you’ve done so much for me already. I hope one day I can return the favor.”

Emily smiles brightly, her heart swelling. “I’ve always admired you, Spencer. I would love if we could get even closer. Just being your friend is all the favor returning I need,” she promises. 

“You want to be my friend?” Spencer asks, smiling lazily. The hot tea is making him feel sleepy, a bit mushy and sappy too. He watches Emily fondly, hanging onto her every word. 

“Of course,” Emily croons, a grin sneaking up on her face. “I’d say we already are friends. Best friends if you want.”

“Mhm,” Spencer nods, letting his eyes close again. “Best friends.”

Emily laughs softly, taking the mug out of his hand. “You are very endearing when you’re half asleep, you know.” 

“I think Garcia’s told me something along those lines before,” Spencer murmurs, sighing softly. 

“It’s not morning yet,” Emily hums, laying down too. “Get a few more hours of sleep.”

Spencer just nods softly, already starting to drift off. It doesn’t take long for Emily to follow, the only sound in the room being light snores and rustling blankets.   
-  
It’s late into the morning when the two finally start to rise again, waking up around the same time. Spencer shifts around as much as he can, trying to wake up his stiff bones and sore muscles. He can hear Emily beside him, moving around too. 

“Morning,” Emily murmurs, turning towards him. “How are you feeling?”

“Better than earlier,” Spencer nods slowly. “I think the worst of it might be over... I just- I don’t know.”

“You can tell me,” Emily prompts, wanting to be able to help. 

“I really want it,” Spencer sighs ashamedly. “I really, really want to take more.”

“Yeah... that’s to be expected. But you know you can get passed this,” Emily reminds. “What can we do to talk your mind off of things? What about some fresh air? We can go for a walk. We’ll stop when you feel like you can’t go anymore.”

“Okay,” Spencer agrees after a moment of silence. 

They have been cooped inside for the past two days, so Spencer has to admit that going outside sounds nice. He’s a little nervous, knowing he’s been prone to muscle aches and sudden nausea the past few days, but he’s willing to give it a try. After protesting for a few minutes, Spencer gets out of bed, trying to decide what to wear. 

“Just make sure you’re comfortable. There’s no one to impress,” Emily chuckles. 

“Yeah, well maybe I should step it up a notch. You’ve only seen me in my pajamas the past two days, maybe now I can woo you,” Spencer jokes, feeling light enough to tease in the moment. 

Emily grins, glad that he’s a lot happier than before. She lets him have the bedroom, heading into the bathroom to get ready herself. Luckily, they both know that the worst of everything has come to an end. They just have to ride out the last couple of days until Spencer is truly better. Emily has to call Hotch, knowing they’ll both need a few more days. She doesn’t know how they’ll keep the team from finding out, but she hopes Hotch can find a way. They both emerge into the hallway at the same time, smiling softly. 

“Ready?” Emily asks, walking towards the living room. 

Spencer nods, playing with the hem of his shirt. “Yeah, we can go now.”

Emily smiles, leading him towards the door. Making sure they have the keys, the two of them leave the apartment, slowly but steadily going down the stairs. Spencer is a little embarrassed over the lack of speed, but he can’t help it. His muscles still feel stiff and sore, and it would be mortifying if he went too fast and fell. He just hopes the walk helps him feel a little better, thinking some fresh air will be nice. The pair find themselves outside, the sky blue and the sun shining. 

“The weather is beautiful,” Emily comments, looping her arm around Spencer’s. “Where do you want to go?”

“There’s a park two blocks away. It’s nice there,” Spencer murmurs. “We can go there.”

Emily nods, letting him lead the way. She doesn’t mind that they’re going slow, not wanting to push Spencer. It’s hard to imagine how he feels, and Emily only wants to help in any way she can. So, that being said, she keeps her arm hooked through his as they walk, and just enjoys the warmth from the sun. 

“I used to come here a lot when I first moved into my apartment,” Spencer says after awhile, breaking the silence. They’re almost at the park by now, and Emily can see it from where they are. “I was new and younger than I am now. I wasn’t close with anyone yet. I would come here when I had time off and try to adjust to the new place I was in. I still come here sometimes, but not as much.”

“I think it’s sweet that you still come here. I mean, it makes sense. You got comfortable with it when you first got here, and now it’s still special to you,” Emily nods. 

Spencer smiles bashfully, nodding softly. “Yeah... there’s benches by the pond, we can sit there.”

Neither of them bring up that Spencer’s legs are hurting, the younger agent not wanting to make a big deal out of it and Emily able to see the tight look that passes over his face. His joints feel stiff from being in bed so much the past few days, and the short walk makes him want to sit for a second. He’s thankful that Emily doesn’t say anything about it, just walking towards the bench with him. It feels much better to sit down, a small sigh leaving his mouth. Spencer leans back and crosses his arms over his middle, just focusing on the warmth. Emily stays quiet, closing her eyes and basking in the sunlight too. 

It’s quiet and peaceful for awhile, the much needed fresh air feeling great in their lungs. There’s a slight breeze that keeps them cool but not cold, the warm sun leaving the overall temperature perfect. This is the best Spencer’s felt in awhile. The fever that’s been hanging around has dropped a little bit, and his temperature is mostly normal. He doesn’t feel like he could throw up or pass out with every move he makes like he did before, so in his eyes, today is definitely the start of a good one. Spencer blushes softly when his stomach growls loudly, finally deciding it wants food instead of rejecting everything it was given. 

“Hungry?” Emily asks hopefully, sending him an encouraging smile. 

“I think so,” Spencer nods softly, squeezing his arms a little tighter. “I don’t feel nauseous or anything. Just really... empty.”

“Well you are,” Emily chuckles. “I’m glad you feel okay enough to have an appetite in the first place. I think everything is going to be pretty uphill from here.”

“I hope so,” Spencer smiles shyly. 

“Should we head back now and get something to eat? I bet since you’re actually feeling hungry, you’ll feel ten times better after you’ve eaten,” Emily prompts. 

“Okay,” Spencer agrees, carefully standing up. 

He smiles when Emily offers her hand, taking it as they start their walk back. It feels like it takes a shorter amount of time to get back than it did to get to the park, Spencer feeling physically stronger as his body got the chance to wake up and stretch out. They’re back inside in no time, Spencer putting his keys down and Emily going to open up a few windows. 

“Thank you,” Spencer sighs, sitting down on the couch. 

“Of course,” Emily smiles softly. “I’ll go find something for you to eat, I’ll be right back.”

Spencer nods, bringing his knees up and closing his eyes for a moment. It feels really good to know someone cares about him this much. He sometimes has his doubts, feeling like he annoys the others most of the time. But since she’s been here, Emily has been nothing but kind and gentle to him. His heart swells as he thinks about it, feeling lighter than he has in awhile. Emily comes back after just a moment, a plate of fruit and crackers in her hand. 

“I know these don’t really go together, but they shouldn’t make you feel sick. You’ll feel better with something in your belly,” she smiles, sitting next to him. “How are you feeling... emotionally?”

Spencer sighs, quietly thanking her for the food. “I don’t really know if I’m being honest,” he frowns. “Part of me wants to just stop this and start using again, but a bigger part of me knows that stopping is a good thing. Hopefully, I’ll be happier... and I won’t have to risk losing my job or disappointing people anymore. It’s just scary and overwhelming.”

“I can’t even imagine how hard it is on you,” Emily whispers softly. “But from my point of view, you are doing amazing. You’re winning this fight, Spencer. We can get you through this together.”

“Thank you,” Spencer whispers, slumping against her a little. “Is it weird that I’ve known you for so little time compared to the others, yet I feel so comfortable around you? I’m sorry if I’m crossing lines, just say so.”

“Not at all,” Emily promises, stroking his hair. “I’m glad I can be here for you, and I feel really close to you too. You’re like my... baby brother,” she chuckles. 

Spencer cracks a smile, looking up at her. “Normally I can’t stand when the team babies me, but that’s a title I can accept.” 

“Good,” Emily grins. “Eat as much as you can, then maybe we should talk to Hotch. He just wants you to be okay.”

Spencer nods softly, nibbling on a cracker as he leans into Emily. At work, she’s independent and straightforward, always getting the job done. But now, something about her just seems so warm and inviting. Her hold on him is firm, but gentle, rather grounding for him. Spencer appreciates it a lot, just enjoying the feeling. He eats most of what she gave him, which wasn’t too much in the first place, and sighs anxiously when his stomach rumbles. Spencer dreads being sick, and he’s afraid it’s inevitable unless his stomach can settle. Emily notices his discomfort, cautiously laying her hand over his middle. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop, okay? I just think this could help,” Emily advises, gently rubbing her hand over his belly. 

Spencer is still for a moment, but finds it in him to relax, a soft breath leaving his lips. “It’s fine... feels nice,” he mumbles, resting his head back against her shoulder. 

Emily smiles a small bit, continuing after he says it’s okay. After a little, Spencer is so relaxed he would think he’s sleeping. He’s not- just barely awake. His eyes are half lidded, and his breaths are long and even. Any pain is forgotten, only able to focus on how good the gentle touch feels. Emily almost giggles softly at how he’s completely melted against her, much like a puppy would, but is able to bite it back before she disturbs him. She lets him relax for awhile, knowing he hasn’t exactly felt good the past few days. 

“Spencer?” Emily murmurs quietly, not wanting to startle him. “I think we should call Hotch before it gets too late. He probably wants to see you.” 

Spencer stretches his legs, moving to sit up and then thinking twice and laying back down against Emily. “Okay,” he yawns, feeling sleepy now. “You’re right, we can call him.”

Emily nods, smiling at his bed head. “I will. Drink some water for me, okay?”

Spencer nods, humming softly when she ruffles his hair. He stands up, and for the first time in awhile, his head doesn’t immediately spin when he does. The agent shuffles into the kitchen, rubbing some residual grogginess out of his eyes. He fills up a glass of water per Emily’s request, slowly drinking it as he wakes up more. Spencer can vaguely hear Emily taking to Hotch in the background, only able to pickup a few snippets of the conversation. She walks into the kitchen after a minute, glad that Spencer is staying hydrated. 

“He’ll be here soon,” Emily reports, hands on her hips. “Doing okay?”

“Yep,” Spencer nods, offering a smile. It’s the most genuine one he’s had since she got here, and Emily can’t help but return it. 

The two of them go back into the living room, curling up on the couch once more. Something is on tv, but Spencer isn’t paying attention, a little zoned out. He’s a little embarrassed of how childish he was acting when Hotch was here last, thinking it over. He knows he wasn’t himself, Spencer just hopes his boss doesn’t see him any differently because of it. Lost in his thoughts, time flies by, and there’s soon a knock on the door. Spencer gets up before Emily can, wanting to let Hotch in himself. He opens the door, feeling a little anxious. 

“Hi, Hotch,” Spencer greets quietly, not able to make eye contact. 

“Hi, Spencer. How are you feeling?” Hotch asks, careful with his words. He doesn’t want to be too overbearing nor authoritative, just wanting Spencer to know he cares. 

“I think a lot better than I was initially,” Spencer answers, feeling his cheeks heat up when he realizes they’re still standing in the doorway. “Come in, I’m sorry.”

Hotch follows him in, saying hello to Emily. The three of them sit on the couch, a slightly awkward silence in the room for a moment. “So,” Hotch begins, “I want to hear from both of you, do you two think Spencer should come to work tomorrow?” 

“Well... today was a really good day,” Emily reports. “We walked outside and he had no problem eating a little for lunch. Doing work at headquarters wouldn’t be an issue. I just don’t know what would happen if a case were to come up.” 

Hotch nods, turning to Spencer to hear his side of the story. The younger man crosses his arms, thinking about it. “Like Emily said, just going through files won’t be hard. But I also don’t know what would happen if a case comes up. We walked to a park today, but I don’t think I’m ready to go chasing any unsubs by tomorrow,” he frowns. “I don’t want to miss another day though if nothing ends up happening and we just stay back here, not going on a case.”

“That’s the hard part,” Hotch sighs. “I can’t promise if a case will or will not come up. We could try it. You can come to work tomorrow, and say that you’re getting over a bug of some sort. If a case comes up, I will personally tell you to stay home because you’re not 100% yet. Does that work?”

“I think so,” Spencer agrees softly. “I’ll try, I might feel better when I wake up tomorrow. I’m just- just nervous.”

“Your feelings are completely valid, I would be nervous too. But we’ll make sure everything goes smoothly, and no one but Prentiss and I has to know about what’s going on,” Hotch promises. 

Spencer nods, sighing quietly. “I guess I’ll come back tomorrow then, as long as you think I should.”

Hotch squeezes his shoulder lightly, giving him a reassuring look. “I know you can do it. You’ve already gotten through the worst of it, and we’ll do whatever we can to help.”

“Thank you,” Spencer whispers, rubbing his eyes. “I just hope it goes okay.”

“It will,” Emily nods. “I promise. I’ll be there, and if you need anything, I’ll handle it.”

Hotch puts a hand on his back and rubs up and down his spine, Spencer relaxing into the touch a little. “Eat dinner, get a good nights sleep. Don’t stress yourself out over this, okay? I know you’ll do great.” 

Spencer doesn’t say anything, just laying his head on Hotch’s shoulder for a minute. The older man puts an arm around his shoulders, letting Spencer be vulnerable for just a little. Emily watched the two of them, her heart warming at the sight. She’s tried and failed to figure out their dynamic in the past- Hotch doesn’t treat Spencer any differently than the others, holding him to the same expectations. But he’s gentler, and Spencer never seems worried around him. She’s happy they have each other. 

“I should go,” Hotch says quietly, mostly to Spencer. “Haley says hi. She thinks you have the flu, and she wants you to get better soon so you can come see her and Jack.” 

Spencer smiles a tiny bit, nodding. “Tell her I said hi too, and thank you. I’ll be better soon.”

“I know,” Hotch agrees. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

Hotch leaves soon after that, quietly shutting the door behind him. Spencer feels better after the conversation, realizing that Hotch isn’t upset with him. Maybe things won’t be so bad after all. Emily brings her hand up to stroke Spencer’s hair, raising an eyebrow. 

“Share your thoughts?” 

“It’s nothing important,” Spencer shrugs. “Just... thinking. But I think tomorrow might go okay.”

“It will. Hotch and I will be there the whole time, and if you need to go home, you go home. I’ll stay the night again and we can go to work together. If you want me to come back after, I’ll do that too. Or I can leave you alone after work. Whatever you want,” Emily nods. 

“I like having you here... but I don’t want you to feel obligated to stay. I’m an adult.” Spencer squirms a little, feeling bad that Emily has to stay now that he’s passed the worst of this. 

“Hey, look at me,” Emily frowns. “I’m here because I want to be. If I didn’t, I would’ve left, and I wouldn’t have offered that I come instead of Hotch in the first place. I’m simply helping out a friend, and I’d do it over again.”

Spencer sighs softly, nodding a little as he lays down across the couch. His head is resting against Emily’s leg, and he sighs happily when she runs her hand through his hair. 

“You know, you’re really good at taking care of people,” Spencer murmurs, the soft touch already making him feel drowsy. “You manage to put me to sleep so easily, and you somehow always knew what would make me feel better.”

Emily’s cheeks go a little red at his statement, smiling fondly. “Oh yeah? I just go with my instinct. Once I knew you were okay with being touched, I used that to calm you down. If it bothered you, I would’ve figured out another way. And then I just did some of the stuff that I do for myself when I’m sick.”

Spencer nods softly, rubbing his cheek against Emily’s leg. “You’d make a good mom... do you want kids one day?”

“Oh... I don’t know. Maybe one day, but not now. Not with our job, you know? And I love working at the BAU,” she trails off. 

“I get it. You should do what makes you happy,” Spencer hums. 

Emily nods softly, biting her lip. “Go to sleep if you’re tired. You could use the rest. I’m not going anywhere.”

It doesn’t take long for Spencer to drift off, eventually turning onto his front in his sleep. Emily snickers softly, noticing that he tends to be a stomach sleeper when he’s really relaxed. She rubs his back, humming quietly to herself. Emily hopes he’ll be able to get through the day tomorrow- he’s been doing good, but that’s with naps and being watched throughout the whole day. It’s not that she doesn’t trust him, of course she does. She just doesn’t want him to push too hard and get hurt. Emily holds him close, wishing he didn’t look so damn small. For some reason, if he looked a little older, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much seeing him go through this. 

The rest of the evening goes by uneventfully. Spencer doesn’t sleep for long, just enough to leave him feeling a bit more energized. The two of them eat dinner later on and decide to go on another short walk later. Though they don’t mention it, they both know that Spencer will have to act completely normal tomorrow, and they can only hope he’s prepared enough. Neither of them talk much about it, just keeping small conversation about other things and eventually heading to bed. Emily can’t help but worry after Spencer’s seizure earlier that morning, staying up until he falls asleep and waking up earlier than him to make sure everything is alright. Spencer sleeps through the night for the first time, but doesn’t look too great in the morning. He’s nauseous and pale, and Emily can see his hands shaking as he buttons his shirt to get dressed. 

“I don’t like this,” Emily frowns. “I should call Hotch, I don’t think you should come in today.”

“It’s just nerves,” Spencer promises, swallowing thickly. “I’m fine. I probably won’t eat breakfast though...”

Emily sighs, running her hand through her hair. “You don’t look fine, Spencer. You’re white as a sheet and honestly look like you could puke any second.”

“I haven’t thrown up since 4:37 am yesterday morning,” Spencer argues weakly. “And I’ve kept down everything I ate since then.”

“Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” Emily asks, raising an eyebrow. “There’s no shame in taking a little more time.”

“I want to,” Spencer whispers, crossing his arms reluctantly. “I have to at some point and I want things to just be normal.”

Emily bites her lip, knowing she’d want the same if she were in his place. “Alright. Come on, let’s finish getting ready then we’ll go.”

Spencer nods, not saying anything else. He’s extremely grateful that Emily and Hotch are even letting him go in, knowing that either one of them could pull the plug on it at at moment. He just wants to do his best and prove to them that he can do it, that he’s okay. And even if he’s not, he could at least fake it until it’s true. 

It’s not much longer before they’re both ready, heading out the door. Emily drives them, and they secretly hope no one sees them coming in together. It’s not unnatural for the team to get rides with each other, but no one exactly sees Emily and Spencer as close, especially with the attitude he’d been giving her in the past week. Luckily, no one is in the parking lot when they pull up, and they’re able to get inside with no suspicion. Spencer thinks this is the most nervous he’s ever felt, convinced something is going to go wrong. When Morgan smiles at him while he’s getting his mug from the shelf though, things seem a bit more normal. The day goes by slowly, but thankfully completely normal. They don’t get called for a case, so Spencer stays mostly at his desk. He drinks tea, per Hotch’s suggestion, and eats salad for lunch, which thankfully stays down. He’s so relieved by the time work is over, and honestly surprised that he made it through. What isn’t surprising is when Hotch wants to talk to him on the way out, and Spencer follows the older man into his office. 

“You did good today, Reid. I’m proud of you,” Hotch praises, giving him a rare smile. 

Spencer shyly returns it, feeling his cheeks flush a little. “Thank you... I’m just glad today was an easy one.”

“How are you feeling?” Hotch asks. 

“Better...” Spencer answers after a moment. “I’m not at my best, but I’m better than I was.”

Hotch nods, thankful that Spencer has even reached that point. “We’ll get you to your best in no time. If there’s anything I can do, please don’t hesitate to call me.”

“Thank you, Hotch,” Spencer whispers, sighing softly. “I should go, I think Emily is waiting for me.”

“Speaking of Emily,” Hotch starts, prompting Spencer to pause, “was it a good decision to let her help you instead of myself?”

Spencer nods without hesitation. “I think it turned out to be the best thing that could’ve happened.”

Hotch lets him go after that, smiling softly to himself. Spencer leaves the office, meeting Emily by her car outside. Everyone else is either still inside or already gone, so he doesn’t feel uncomfortable wrapping his arms around her in a hug as soon as they reach each other. Emily is thrown off, but not upset, by the sudden affection, just looping her arms around Spencer’s waist and squeezing him tight. 

“What was that for?” Emily asks when they pull apart, smiling up at him. 

“Just a thank you,” Spencer replies, shrugging bashfully. “You made what was probably the worst experience of my life into something slightly easier, and I’ll never take our friendship for granted.” 

Emily doesn’t know what to say for a moment, unable to word everything she wants to get out. It’s alright though- Spencer already knows what she means. “Let’s get you home,” she finally says, squeezing his arm. “Do you want me to stay with you? You did great today, but we can do whatever you need.”

“It’s okay,” Spencer promises. “I think I’ll be fine on my own.”


End file.
